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sometimes I like to picture friends and celebs wearing all angry birds merchandise imagine Bruce Forsyth in all angry birds merch or Kate Middleton, Wills and George. LOL! 

I first met my older brother when I was 5 and he lent me his gameboy. A few years later when “indie” was hip he showed me the metros. After 7 years of not knowing what he is doing, I stalk his Facebook to see what he’s up to. He’s making EDM music. I am disappointed as it is not the kind of minor fame I want to latch on to.  

I’m watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to take my mind off the fact that the world is ending. This is how I plan on spending the apocalypse. 

I’ll tell you what some people are awful. I accidentally farted on someone at work the other day as they squeezed past and I had to squeeze in. It was right in their belly button woopsie. 

Everything about the word “wavy” makes me want to slap my hand on my forehead and sigh. Like this “Ughhhhhh”.

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